Hazardous Humorist Gifts

'You forgot the product label.'

Toxic Barrels of Fun

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

The world's first exploding cricket box...

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

'This is your lucky day!'

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

"Renovating your bathroom?"

Sir Gilbert Murgatroyd

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

A Not So Grand Slam.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

Laboratories - Contaminate Biologicals/Hazardous Material/Radioactive Waste/Mutant Organisms.

"And WHATEVER you do DON'T FALL DOWN THE STEPS or put your finger in the ELECTRICITY socket."

"The government wants us to wear these bonus hazard suits."

"Is everything ok? You've hardly said 'Boo' all evening."

You should all get along beautifully. Fred handles toxic wastes, Doris works at a nuclear reactor, and Walter just isn't taking any chances.

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

Cotton candy

'Get back...there's a thermometer in that filing cabinet that could leap out, smash on the floor and give someone a mild headache.'

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

Dual Airbags

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

Gingerbread man in Emergency room.

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'They might satisfy Health and Safety, but I still think the Hi-Vis jackets send a mixed message.'