Hazardous Humorist Gifts

'You forgot the product label.'

Toxic Barrels of Fun

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

The world's first exploding cricket box...

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

'This is your lucky day!'

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

"Renovating your bathroom?"

Sir Gilbert Murgatroyd

A Not So Grand Slam.

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

Laboratories - Contaminate Biologicals/Hazardous Material/Radioactive Waste/Mutant Organisms.

Freak Accident Specialist

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"The government wants us to wear these bonus hazard suits."

"Is everything ok? You've hardly said 'Boo' all evening."

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

You should all get along beautifully. Fred handles toxic wastes, Doris works at a nuclear reactor, and Walter just isn't taking any chances.

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

Cotton candy

"And WHATEVER you do DON'T FALL DOWN THE STEPS or put your finger in the ELECTRICITY socket."

'Get back...there's a thermometer in that filing cabinet that could leap out, smash on the floor and give someone a mild headache.'

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

Dual Airbags

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

Gingerbread man in Emergency room.

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...