Having A New Pet Gifts

"What? You said 'grab a tub toy.'"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Bitchbark Canoe

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Actually, make that a double cream."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"Pick me!"

"Foster failure"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"Cat box"

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

'That was fun!'

"Quick, start the car!"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

Dog Dreams

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Cat Nip.

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

Love a Mutt

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

A man and his dog