Having A New Pet T-Shirts

"What? You said 'grab a tub toy.'"

Bitchbark Canoe

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Pick me!"

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Foster failure"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"Cat box"

'That was fun!'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"Quick, start the car!"

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

Dog Dreams

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

Cat Nip.

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

Love a Mutt

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

A man and his dog