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Sunshine Bedlam and Breakfast.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Dead Funny

Ghost School.

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

Open House of Horrors

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

Welcome Ghost.

Sir Conrad Murgatroyd

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

Born of the Dead

"I think it's a subpoena!"

'Yeah we found it, hey Ichabod, remember that jack o' lantern somebody left at table two this morning? Where is it?'

"Is there anybody there?"

The Vampire's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with small Coffins attached

'Meet the Ghost Writer.'

Monster Realtor

Ye Olde Inn, Fine Food & Spirits.

'It mostly scares the realtors.'

Headless Horserider uses a computer

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

"Go as a witch. Your room hasn't seen a broom in months."

"Architectural Digest calls it 'Twilight chic.'"

"It's suppose to be tomato juice! That's how you make a Bloody Mary!"

'I'm a huge fan of your work.'

'I don't feel like brains tonight...let's grab a pizza!'

"I'm putting you on the 'Zombie Diet'. It's a no-brainer."