Haunted House Thrill-seeker Gifts

'Sorry, nothing scares us anymore since we accidentally saw our grandfather naked.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Out To Lurch

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

Open House of Horrors

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

'I really got to stop watching paranormal movies before bed!'

The lesser known active volcanoes.

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

"Is there anybody there?"

"You never know what will catch on!"

"Dad, it's gonna take more than that to scare me."

Monster Realtor

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."

'Repossessed? No, I said it was possessed.'

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

'Spend the night in that place? You guys have to be kidding!'

"Architectural Digest calls it 'Twilight chic.'"

Orange House of Horrors

'The pink squirrel's okay, but you gotta try the fuzzy navel.'

'It mostly scares the realtors.'

Wine...Spirits...

"It's in move-in condition."

'I don't quite know what it is... but there's something about this place gives me the creeps, Joe.'

"This will be painful, so I was hoping I could record your blood-curdling screams to be used at my Halloween party."

"Ghosts? I haven't seen a ghost here for 3000 years!"

"You know Gladys, you seem to be getting younger by the minute. What's your secret?" "I finally decided to get a few injections of bootox. It works wonders!"