Haunted House Explorer Gifts

Wine...Spirits...

'Repossessed? No, I said it was possessed.'

"Now, suddenly, you’re not allowed to scare the pants off people."

Old Creepy House Philosophy. When one secret passage closes, another opens!

Condemned - Do Not Enter

Beware of cat

Out To Lurch

A boast of ghosts

'But I'm a poltergeist... I'm supposed to be noisy!'

'You don't believe that stuff about classroom 213 being haunted, do you?'

For Sale (AS IS)

'Nice to get some peace and quiet up here - away from all that trick or treat nonsense."

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

Open House of Horrors

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

"Should we lick it again?" CX930226

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

"Dad, it's gonna take more than that to scare me."

Monster Realtor

"Is there anybody there?"

"You never know what will catch on!"

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."

"I am the Genie of the Bong! I will grant you... um... I am the Genie of the Bong!"

'Spend the night in that place? You guys have to be kidding!'