Harvest Host Gifts

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

Tartine

Come dine with me!

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Pumpkin patch

Dinner at the Trapdoors

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Cardiac Recovery.

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

Canape?

"Joel! Killer crust!"

Lawnmower

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Horn of Leftovers

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

'So glad you could make it! Do come in...'

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"I'd like to toast our guests."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

Agricultural Psychology

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'