Hands-on Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'Construction Lite, 13 less 2 X 4s than our regular construction.'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Police Feline Unit

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Selling lemon latt�

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

Do Not Resuscitate

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Faster, Georges, faster!

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Cariactures

'Cannonball!'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

Here and There Trays