Hamburger Aficionado Gifts

'We're out of blackbirds -- how about four-and-twenty hamburgers?'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

The Origami Society...

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Freaks of nature exhibit.

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

Pope tarts.

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'Fried chickens.'