Burger Connoisseur Gifts

"I can tell you're enjoying your alternative-meat burger. Look at the beet juice running down your chin!"

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Best Before 5th Pint.

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"Scotch and water musick."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

Nutrition-Free Diet

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

4 Reasons People Love Oktoberfest

"What'll ya have?"

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

'A Quarter-Tonner, please.'

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

'Malty tasking.'

Sisyphus Sawyer

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."