Hairdo Guru Pillows

Moses the barber - 'Hey, neat part!'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Love at First Sight

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

A women in a shoeshop.

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

Rapunzel in the Morning

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

"Be creative...!"

Emergency Hipster Beard

Keeping warm.

Dating is so expensive...

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Absolutely not!"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

At the suit makers

'Do you like my little black number?'

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

Mr Metrosexual.

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'