Hair Health Guru Pillows

A Hair Loss Clinic in the form of a bald head.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Rapunzel in the Morning

Emergency Hipster Beard

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

"Be creative...!"

Dating is so expensive...

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"Nice haircut."

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

Movember

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

The Cat Spa

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

'Have you had a brazilian?'

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

Hair Traffic control.

Square Cut

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...