Hair Health Guru Pillows

A Hair Loss Clinic in the form of a bald head.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Rapunzel in the Morning

"Be creative...!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

Emergency Hipster Beard

Dating is so expensive...

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

The Cat Spa

Movember

"Nice haircut."

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

'Have you had a brazilian?'

Hair Traffic control.

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.