Hair Style Guru Pillows

Please tell me I didn't go out with my plumage looking like that when I was his age!

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

A women in a shoeshop.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Rapunzel in the Morning

"Be creative...!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Emergency Hipster Beard

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Keeping warm.

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Absolutely not!"

Dating is so expensive...

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'Do you like my little black number?'

At the suit makers

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

Mr Metrosexual.

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"