Hair Style Guru Gifts

'Just a little off the top,please.'

Please tell me I didn't go out with my plumage looking like that when I was his age!

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

A women in a shoeshop.

Rapunzel in the Morning

"Be creative...!"

Emergency Hipster Beard

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Dating is so expensive...

"Absolutely not!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Keeping warm.

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

Mr Metrosexual.

'Do you like my little black number?'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

At the suit makers

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."