Gray Hair Guru Pillows

"It started with a little rinse to cover the gray..."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

A women in a shoeshop.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Rapunzel in the Morning

"Absolutely not!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Dating is so expensive...

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Be creative...!"

Keeping warm.

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

At the suit makers

'Do you like my little black number?'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

Mr Metrosexual.

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"