Hair Growth Guru Pillows

'We don't see many patients with a Rogaine addiction.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"#Win!"

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

Rapunzel in the Morning

Dating is so expensive...

Emergency Hipster Beard

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"Be creative...!"

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"Now I'll demonstrate how, with a minimum of capital investment, you can make a mountain out of a molehill!"

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

The Cat Spa

Movember

"Nice haircut."

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'Have you had a brazilian?'

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'