Hairdo Guru T-Shirts

Moses the barber - 'Hey, neat part!'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Love at First Sight

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

A women in a shoeshop.

Rapunzel in the Morning

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Keeping warm.

"Be creative...!"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

"Absolutely not!"

Dating is so expensive...

Emergency Hipster Beard

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

At the suit makers

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

'Do you like my little black number?'

Mr Metrosexual.

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."