Haikus Gifts

'I think exposure to Haiku has really sharpened my tweeting skills.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Cry babies.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

Instructional guide to scribbling

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Drool Marks

Couples' therapy

Audio Books

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

His Her Cakes

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'We'd just like to get away from all leading economic indicators for a while.'

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

Sulk Shows

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

"Get a tomb!"

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

'Choose, Fenster