Haikus Pillows

'I think exposure to Haiku has really sharpened my tweeting skills.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Cry babies.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

Instructional guide to scribbling

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Drool Marks

Couples' therapy

Audio Books

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

His Her Cakes

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'We'd just like to get away from all leading economic indicators for a while.'

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"Get a tomb!"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

'Choose, Fenster

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

Sulk Shows

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."