Gym Rat Gifts

'Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.'

Fitness Clinic.

'It's for passing my drug test.'

'Let's try a slower speed.'

'Do you know if there's a candy machine in the building?'

'Whoa... Dude! You've been pumping iron!

Battery lifting weights

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

Those untraceable performance enhancing drugs you got me...I can't find them!

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'

Hamster in a wheel with a personal trainer.

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'When did you start working out?'

'Just a few more steroids and I get-a-chopping!'

'Hey, there are pedals on this thing!'

Policeman fining man for going to fast on his exercise bike

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

'Wow! He must really work out!'

30 min. time limit while others are waiting.

Apocalliptical

"I think I'm in the wrong kind of spin class!"

"Of course I tested positive for steroids. I eat meat."

"And Jack and Jill got on their stairmasters and never worried about breaking their crowns."

Weight Loss Clinic: 100% guaranteed.

"Are you sure this is only 100 pounds?"

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Reducing Salon Doors

Ring for Service.

'Do you feel the burn?', 'Yes -- in fact, I think my pancreas is scorched.'

Joe's Gym: Flabs...Abs.

'Phuh! Twenty odd quid a month for this!'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

Bodybuilding.

"Let's face it, we've got too many 'Sugar Ray's'."