Gym Escapist Gifts

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

'I'm part of my wife's fitness program. I keep changing bars so she has to walk all over the ship to find me.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

Ice fisher.

Crowded Ice Fishing

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

Fish swimming by fishermen's feet - 'This looks like a safe place.'

Second lifeReal life.

Man fishing while aliens invade.

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

"So why do I feel like we're being watched?"

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

'You said you were going to put gas in the RV, and then come right back. You've been gone for a year. Care to explain?'

Blowing up the camping mattress.

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

Easy chair exercise machines

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

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"You should always stretch before engaging in strenuous activity."

'Now don't forget, polar bears can be sneaky buggers.'

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

"Behind the back, between the legs, around my disappointed parents, nothing but net."

'Come back and get me about noon.'

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

The Wet Fly Man is a more active creature.

Great excuses No 964 'I was on my way to the gym when I was abducted by alliens from the planet Sanrg who took me to their ship and force fed me choc-chip ice cream.'

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"Joining the Army was great for me son; he learned a skill and gained a world of self confidence. Of course, he still won't clean his room."