Exercise Escapist Gifts

How To Flatten Your Tummy

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

'You are in a deep, deep sleep, when you awaken you will feel sweaty and exhausted...'

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"I've given up trying to do a cardio workout."

A women sound asleep on her exercise bike clutches an energy bar while the floor is littered with empty energy drinks, energy bars, and energy powder containers.

'Talk about boring...these exercise programs all have the same plot.'

'Okay, ready to begin the workout? And... finished. Good job!'

"This should shield granddad from the coronavirus."

"It's 10000 steps a DAY, not a YEAR!"

"Ahhh... close enough."

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Ice fisher.

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

Crowded Ice Fishing

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

Fish swimming by fishermen's feet - 'This looks like a safe place.'

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

Man fishing while aliens invade.

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

'How should I know how things are at home, I moved into the pub a month ago.'

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

'You said you were going to put gas in the RV, and then come right back. You've been gone for a year. Care to explain?'

Easy chair exercise machines

Blowing up the camping mattress.

'Now don't forget, polar bears can be sneaky buggers.'

"Behind the back, between the legs, around my disappointed parents, nothing but net."

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"