Gym Anniversary Gifts

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"How long have you lived in this gym?"

This abdominal training board you brought...what kind of instructions did it come with...

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

"Feeling the burn yet?"

Gym. You lost a pound this week? It's only because I always leave here too tired to go looking for it!

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

Muscles

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"This feels like an accomplishment."

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

On the back of the t-shirt...

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Powerful Love.

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"We're exclusively delts."

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."