Gusto-goer Gifts

"I highly recommend going for the gusto."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

A very young man being hired as a groom.

I need to set upmy own company.

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

'It's only the library ghost - he was a great poet but a failed novelist.'

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

When you're wearing your big girl pants...You Can Take On The World!

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

Haunted museum

"We call it 'dish' of the day, but it's actually served on a plank of wood."

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

"You put it on backward, dear."

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."

"I want you kids to always follow your hopes and screams."