Gusto-goer Pillows

"I highly recommend going for the gusto."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

A very young man being hired as a groom.

"I'm telling you, she's the best in her field."

I need to set upmy own company.

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'There's an imposter among us!'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

The Thinker and the Doer.

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

When you're wearing your big girl pants...You Can Take On The World!

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

'It's only the library ghost - he was a great poet but a failed novelist.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

If you don't give me a free hot chocolate, you're probably not a patriot. #$%* Fox News.

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

"Lately, I've become more spiritual, and less religious."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

Haunted museum

Ghosts from around the world.

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

"We call it 'dish' of the day, but it's actually served on a plank of wood."

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

"You put it on backward, dear."

"You see a haunted house, I see a house with good bones."