Gastrotainment Enthusiast Gifts

Come dine with me!

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

Join me for dinner?

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Haute Chinese

'This is delicious. I'm glad I didn't try to order in Italian.'

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

Cut out and keep your own Chef

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

"You see, I don't believe in eating fast. I believe in savoring. I....hey, stop looking at my food!"

'Pass the grey stuff.'

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

A restaurant with a "Main Dining Room" and a "Room for Dessert".

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

"I'm told the items marked with happy faces are especially yummy."

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

"Step right up, lady and gents, and scoop yourself a heaping helping of the best spicy meat and bean stew this side of the mighty Mississippi!"

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."