Gastroenteric Adventurer Gifts

"It may be just a simple tomato bisque, but just wait for the roaring and turbulent excitement in your bowels an hour from now."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Garlic Free Zone.

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Holiday Supplies

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

I made you a cake!

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

Platter confusion.

The Inexperienced Cook

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

'The cake timer dinged, Mom, and so did my stomach.'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

Anti-inflammation recipes

"I'm unable to process this image."

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"