Gunnery Sergeant Pillows

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

'At ease, soldier.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

"911, what is your major malfunction?"

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

'...and this is the Mess.'

"Lemming Boot Camp"

Son, you'll never be quick on the draw unless you pull your dang pants up.

Verbal Orders

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

'You know the rules, private - no pets!'

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

A yeoman misunderstanding an order from his drill-sergeant

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

"And a hef pond good sirloin for my boy, Sergeant Koppleman."

Banting in the Yeomanry

Stret boy making a comment about a military man

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

'No. No. Don't bomb them now. Wait until morning, when the birds are singing and the air is alive with a sense of possibility.'

Why Crabs Make Lousy Soldiers.

'We have GOT to find a new squadron name!'

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

Beer Sergeant.

'I keep yelling at my privates.'

Sergeant Stripes

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."