First Sergeant Pillows

"Then it's agreed. I'll send you a lieutenant in exchange for a clerk typist and a staff sergeant."

"His first out-of-body experience."

A young Don King

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"

'A is for Arse.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

'At ease, soldier.'

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"They look so young and helpless."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Little chef.

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

"Bless, Poppy's first tweet!"

Extra innings.

'Relax, dude - I got your back.'

Frontline health workers

She doesn't like my song? All the kids LOVED it at Day Care!

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

'Mummy Mummy, I want a puppy! Mummy Mummy, I want a puppy!'

Children's Dream Dinners: Superhero Special

"911, what is your major malfunction?"

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

'It's not dead, honey. You've just never seen it turned off before.'

'That never gets old.'