Gumshoe Buff T-Shirts

Mystery of the Poets

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

"In my workout this morning I hit a new personal best, but on a seasonally adjusted basis, my numbers actually fell."

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."

"Just great. These humans bring us back from extinction just in time for another global climate catastrophe."

Fitness Course.

'What do you mean I have to buy both of them?! What kind of a business are you running?'

'That isn't true Mrs. Jones, I can find my ass with both hands. And if you want me to prove it, it'll be $150.00 a day, plus expenses.'

"Steroids."

"Oh, we're not bouncers. We just can't fit through the door."

"I've been working exclusively on my core."

"...and I'm an incredibly flexible gymnast. If you get my drift..."

'Soon as your endorphins kick in, you'll feel great.'

'Eating again. What's happened to your weight lifting?'

Arm wrestling champion. (man in wheelchair).

'Can't you spell? This is 'muscle beach.' You want 'M-U-S-S-E-L Beach.''

"What the hell happened in P.E.?"

'Grandpa's been working out!'

"My art dealer assured me people will think it's worth a lot mo is."re than it

'If you count my outie, I've got a seven-pack.'

Dashiell Hammett

'I thought that we would grow old gracefully together, but Bruce has to get 'pumping iron' out of his system first.'

'Notice how the TV goes dim when we stop pedalling!'

3. Proceed cautiously in the practice of yoga, as mistakes are hard to undo. 4. When jogging, watch your step. Too much steady pounding can result in a loosening of your internal organs and their slippage into one of your legs.

'Do you feel the burn?', 'Yes -- in fact, I think my pancreas is scorched.'

'The name's Victoria. I was told I could find a gumshoe here.'