Guilty Giggler Pillows

'I need a lawyer who specializes in guilty people.'

'We find the defendant to be TOAST.'

Clown God

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'It was this big. I swear'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

'Man, I'm bombing,'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'Whoops!'

A Grumble Bee

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

"It's bad news I'm afraid...we've lost his web site!"

Confession Ratings.

The Big A** Theory

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

"I have four stomachs and one of them always seems to be hungry.''

"Captain...I'm detecting Hemorrhoids off our starboard bow."

'This note from your teacher says you're doing great for a six year old. Doesn't she know you're fifteen?'

"What kind of mod are you in? Sit Down or All You Can Eat From The Trough?"

"I'd let her go, but she's so good with the kids."

'It needs more punctuation.'

'No.'

"You do realize that this entire side of the galaxy is laughing at you and your NASCAR fixation don't you?"

A Cow Funeral.

"Hey Vincent, I got a certified letter today. Apparently the birds have reported us stalking them and have taken out a restraining order against us."

"I attract all the crypts."

"I think I'm picking up a 'holier than thou' vibe here."