Guilt Trip Tourists Gifts

"Apparently it's a Californian Guilt Transmitter."

"We have all the brochures, but we can't decide if we want to die on Mt. Everest or Mt. McKinley."

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

Devil's Tower Park. Ernie, this nice ranger has offered to show us the basement gift shop.

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

"Sorry, y'all — no locals. This is a tourists-only bar."

Mom's Diner: I do and do and do for you and what thanks do I get? How about your business? Is that too much to ask?

'Just stop listening to Public Broadcasting, and your guilt complex should clear right up!'

My Gay Son Never Calls

"Forty years in this business and you suddenly decide you don't like gimmicky?"

"You know, you're not just cancelling a magazine subscription. You're stabbing print media in the back!"

"We always see a spike after April 15th."

Theories Of Everything: 'Everything would be perfect if I had a dirt bike.'

Introducing...Superegoman!

"Wait a minute. Isn't tonight the water conservation rally?"

Will assuage guilt for money.

'Damned tourists.'

"When I think about my mom, it hurts here."

"Do you really need a resource-sucking, ozone-depleting, planet-killing bag?"

"The following report contains images some viewers may find disturbing. . .so pay attention."

"Welcome to Arlington National Cemetery. Pardon our appearance... We're expanding."

'You mean this isn't a medieval themed restaurant?'

'Gack! Good lord! This is fresh water taffy!'

'I strive to remember people's names to make them feel guilty about forgetting mine.'

"This is a charity calling. Please stay on the line for the voice of human kindness."

"I can count on one hand the number of times I've been to Chernobyl."

'Every time I come here, it ends up a guilt trip.'

Miniature Railway: Closed for Miniature Engineering Works.

'This is the dungeon. Mind your head!'

Woman Browses Section Labeled "Guiltmaking"

'I'm going to lay a guilt trip on you, man.'