Guilt-trip Escapist Gifts

"Wait a minute. Isn't tonight the water conservation rally?"

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

'See you in two weeks!'

Cake Escape

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

"How to deal with weeds."

City Dog - 'Big trouble - haven't seen a fire hydrant in hours!'

"We always see a spike after April 15th."

"He's in a far better place. It's always nice to spend the winter in Miami."

Sleeping Tiger

'Trust me, using this cheap perfume to mask our scents is going to confuse the hounds...'

"Hold it, there's someone on my other island!"

'I'm self isolating, you idiot!'

'Truthfully, I never wanted the world to beat a path to my door.'

"How would you feel about a little place in the city, just to get away from all the hunting and gathering?"

Man escaping from his scolding wife by inhaling ether

Ramblers Association

"No man is an island, but I come pretty damn close."

"When I think about my mom, it hurts here."

"One of my suppliers is letting me use his cabin for a few days."

A man relaxes in a folding chair on the back of a whale.

Desert Island golf

"Above the ceiling is plenty of duct space, a perfect hideout for when the in-laws visit."

Sorry, I'm too ill to come in today. More medicine please, nurse.

NO FACILITIES

"We seem to get just the one channel."

'You can't live like there's no tomorrow, and then live tomorrow.'

"This is a charity calling. Please stay on the line for the voice of human kindness."