Guilt-ridden Car Owner T-Shirts

"Actually, I drink to forget what my car is doing to affect global warming."

'Goodbye, dear. This is the kind of day that makes you feel glad to be alive.'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

"If it was HIS food dish that was empty... I know I wouldn't be able to sleep!"

"Added a new catalytic converter, upped the horse power, and installed a new intake system... but we still can't get rid of the clown."

'Every time one door closes, another one opens. Can you fix it?'

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a rhino appeared and charged our vehicle...

"Wanting traffic to slow down, we don't post pothole warning signs."

". . . Hey, hold that thought, I gotta use the windshield. . ."

Dads.

'We've found life as we know it on other planets. All creatures have cars that break down when they're late for a meeting.'

'You're lucky your car's only being repossessed. Mine's possessed and I have to call an exorcist.'

'I see the problem.' Car grill looks like teeth.

"Next time your engine knocks, answer it."

'This is not a ticket. It's just a piece of paper we decided to put on your car. - Police Dept.'

Vicar with cross-shaped car aerial.

"I brake for all Police Cars."

"This is a charity calling. Please stay on the line for the voice of human kindness."

'Your call is important to us - please hold while we connect you to an advisor.'

"Baldo, having a car is a big commitment. You gotta get a job, you gotta save your money, you gotta dedicate your life to it."

"Can you save my car?"

"At first, I thought it was gunfire."

Trampling the freshly painted Honda was fun, but Toonga worried that the owners might somehow be able to figure out who did it.

"I've done all I can. Take it home and read it The Little Engine That Could."

If...Then....

"Looks like my car won't start...I guess I'll have time for that beer after all!"

Woman crying about her car repair bill.

Messy Car

'It's unusual, but the manufacturer guarantees you'll never have your car stolen.'

Emergency breakdown.