Guilt-evader Gifts

Man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Did You Forget Mother's Day?

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

I.T. Fear

'No, but thanks for asking,'

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

Gardener with window box and giant slug.

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

Feeling guilty? Florest

'Just stop listening to Public Broadcasting, and your guilt complex should clear right up!'

Introducing...Superegoman!

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

Will assuage guilt for money.

'I had it all - then the IRS found where I had it hidden.'

'If he starts to pet you excessively whilst she's shouting it usually means he's feeling guilty.'

'What exactly is it you dislike about slugs, Mister Crabtree?'

Infernal Revenue Service

'I'' be in the basement, Amy... below the radar.'

"Do you really need a resource-sucking, ozone-depleting, planet-killing bag?"

Car driving on tube line - 'They'll do anything to avoid the new congestion charge.'

"Someday I'll hire lots of smart people to work for me."

"How much do we owe them?"

"Thank God you're just my wife's lover! I thought you were from the Inland Revenue!"

Fiction: 'Filling in your tax returns'

'Aack! Four star guilt!!'

Rudy, it's come to my attention you've spilled 348 gallons of coffee and tea. What? I did not! I'm talking over the course of the last 16 years. Don't bother denying it, every time you've spilled a drop, Gunther measured it. Gunther? Who's Gunther? That's what I named him. He came here on a low-skilled work visa. He's been working under the floorboards ever since it expired. Very bad man.

'Every time I come here, it ends up a guilt trip.'

'New dog?' - 'Yes, and no more food bills, no vets fees.'

Financial Advisor. Will you meet expenses this month? Unless I find a really good hiding place.

'The Democrats steal more books, but the Republicans have more overdue fines.'

"Okay, I feel guilty...you're reading and I'm watching TV."

Gold, Silver and Bronze for pessimists.

"Wow - I didn't know you could put that much guilt into one sentence."