Guilt-evader Gifts

Man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Did You Forget Mother's Day?

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

I.T. Fear

'No, but thanks for asking,'

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

Gardener with window box and giant slug.

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

'Just stop listening to Public Broadcasting, and your guilt complex should clear right up!'

Feeling guilty? Florest

Introducing...Superegoman!

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

'I had it all - then the IRS found where I had it hidden.'

Will assuage guilt for money.

Infernal Revenue Service

'If he starts to pet you excessively whilst she's shouting it usually means he's feeling guilty.'

'I'' be in the basement, Amy... below the radar.'

"Do you really need a resource-sucking, ozone-depleting, planet-killing bag?"

'What exactly is it you dislike about slugs, Mister Crabtree?'

Car driving on tube line - 'They'll do anything to avoid the new congestion charge.'

"How much do we owe them?"

"Someday I'll hire lots of smart people to work for me."

"Thank God you're just my wife's lover! I thought you were from the Inland Revenue!"

'Aack! Four star guilt!!'

Fiction: 'Filling in your tax returns'

'Every time I come here, it ends up a guilt trip.'

'New dog?' - 'Yes, and no more food bills, no vets fees.'

'The Democrats steal more books, but the Republicans have more overdue fines.'

"Okay, I feel guilty...you're reading and I'm watching TV."

Gold, Silver and Bronze for pessimists.

"Wow - I didn't know you could put that much guilt into one sentence."

"You broke the window, huh?"