Guided Dads Pillows

Father

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Be afraid to try new things!"

The modern generation!

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"According to this, everything we've done up to now is right."

Dads

'I do set limits. For example, he wasn't allowed to use the tablet computer until after he downloaded a potty training app.'

"There's no umbilical cord. But don't worry... it just means your baby is connected to you via wifi."

"Honey, please don't talk to Daddy when he's in a chat room."

He's crying again. Should he see a therapist?

"Better safe than sorry, son."

'I'm getting a little concerned about Timmy. He hasn't wormed his way out of anything all semester.'

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

"Your inability to turn off your critical voice, combined with your fear of disappointing your overbearing, demanding father, is causing you to lose faith in your fastball."

Temptation.

"Do you have any video games that would help reduce my role as a father?"

"It's my baby sister's. She leaked when we got her, and we've been trying to fix her ever since."

We ARE playing catch.

"Okay...seriously...it's nothing to worry about, Dad."

Maternity. Which one is yours?

"Aaack! How did an unscheduled hour get on your calendar? This will not look good on your college application."

"I planned on cutting the cord myself but my phone app beat me to it."

"After I introduce you to solids, I'm going to need your help with some computer stuff."

"I feel guilty because I introduced my Dad to video games and now he's addicted to them!"

"Ten more minutes of media manipulation, then it's off to bed."

'My Dad thinks he's so cool.'

'Hi. I'm a new dad. Do you have an app for that?'

Cinema Certification, Suitable for kids, but will drive parents to distraction.

'Look at him with his iDad...'