Parental Guide Navigator Pillows

Cinema Certification, Suitable for kids, but will drive parents to distraction.

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

"Be afraid to try new things!"

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

Mother's Day: 2nd Sunday in May, Others Day: Every day before and after the 2nd Sunday in May.

Exam Room.

Ask your mother computer.

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

"Better safe than sorry, son."

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

"No, we're not there yet because your father refuses to ask for directions!"

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

'I'm getting a little concerned about Timmy. He hasn't wormed his way out of anything all semester.'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Boring Rainy Day Sitting Area.'

'Would you like me to have a word with educational psychologist about Julie?'

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

"And the lovely, little daughter understood her daddy was tired from harvesting people's personal data all day and went to sleep. The end."

'We usually have some trouble getting organized the first day of school.'

"Hahahaha! Oh, you are hilarious! Help you with your math homework … hahahaha!"

"Why do they tell us not to be childish? We're only nine!"

Triplets

'Get real, Larry!'

'No, the Patriot Act doesn't make it all right for you to read your sister's diary!'

"I handled his last adventure. You take this one."

"If you're sending me home here are my mom's phone numbers plus blogs, instagram, twitter and snapchat accounts."

"Can you hold that thought until I consult my new 'Excuses For Mom' app?"

"My day? Don't even get me started!"

"Dad's working out car charging points if we want to visit grandad."