Parental Guide Navigator Pillows

Cinema Certification, Suitable for kids, but will drive parents to distraction.

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

"Be afraid to try new things!"

'sugar and spice my eye.'

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

Ask your mother computer.

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

Exam Room.

"Better safe than sorry, son."

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

"No, we're not there yet because your father refuses to ask for directions!"

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

'Would you like me to have a word with educational psychologist about Julie?'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Boring Rainy Day Sitting Area.'

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

"Why do they tell us not to be childish? We're only nine!"

"And the lovely, little daughter understood her daddy was tired from harvesting people's personal data all day and went to sleep. The end."

Triplets

"Hahahaha! Oh, you are hilarious! Help you with your math homework … hahahaha!"

'We usually have some trouble getting organized the first day of school.'

"Can you hold that thought until I consult my new 'Excuses For Mom' app?"

"At least now when mom and dad fight it's quieter."

"I handled his last adventure. You take this one."

"Mom wasn't impressed with my suggestion that we 'agree to disagree'."

"Awww....someone's done a pooping in their pants. How cute?"

'No, the Patriot Act doesn't make it all right for you to read your sister's diary!'

"He's at that awkward age when they can try him as an adult."

"Dad's working out car charging points if we want to visit grandad."