Guest Experience Gifts

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

'No luggage.'

'Brew?'

'Hello, Room Service?'

'I don't think they are playing with a full deck.'

'This room is a tad small but cozy.'

'What do you mean you 'don't like curry'?!!'

'Joan of Arc is visiting - make sure all the toilet seats are down.

"Have some more tea, Mrs. Van Sickleford. Wendell is going to show you his mastodon tusk."

'Roger hates goodbyes.'

'How can we see our service through our client's eyes?'

"While you were deciding, we raised our prices."

'Keep carving, there are still a few identifiable parts.'

'Thank you for folding up the sleeper sofa, Dear. Have you seen Mother?'

'Oognik! -- If I'd known you were coming, I'd have harpooned a whale!'

"You should have been more specific when you booked a room with a sea view."

"As you know, all of our rooms have unique themes. Yours is Last Night's Guests."

Fish pedicures - a woman with her feet in goldfish bowls, with the fish complaining about what they have to eat since the beauty craze took off.

Goldilocks and a couple from out of town

'These are for Ken's homemade Chenin Blance. Trust me, you'll need them.'

'I told you she is a bad cook - that's just defrosting the chips.'

'Generally we don't provide separate wake up calls for little teddy bears.'

'Sure. They advertise luxury rooms, but you get there, and they all have bathtubs.'

"Will you be requiring a wake up call?"

'Your job is to see that no one interrupts while I'm on a roll.'