Guest Experience T-Shirts

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

"So what else can we get our customers to do online themselves and charge them for it?"

'No luggage.'

'Brew?'

'Hello, Room Service?'

'I don't think they are playing with a full deck.'

'This room is a tad small but cozy.'

Paris Hilton

"A double room with twin minibars, please!"

"Have some more tea, Mrs. Van Sickleford. Wendell is going to show you his mastodon tusk."

'What do you mean you 'don't like curry'?!!'

'Joan of Arc is visiting - make sure all the toilet seats are down.

'How can we see our service through our client's eyes?'

'Roger hates goodbyes.'

"While you were deciding, we raised our prices."

'Keep carving, there are still a few identifiable parts.'

'Oognik! -- If I'd known you were coming, I'd have harpooned a whale!'

'Thank you for folding up the sleeper sofa, Dear. Have you seen Mother?'

"As you know, all of our rooms have unique themes. Yours is Last Night's Guests."

"You should have been more specific when you booked a room with a sea view."

Fish pedicures - a woman with her feet in goldfish bowls, with the fish complaining about what they have to eat since the beauty craze took off.

"Not sure if it's French oak, but I'm positive our wine is barrel aged."

Goldilocks and a couple from out of town

'These are for Ken's homemade Chenin Blance. Trust me, you'll need them.'

'I told you she is a bad cook - that's just defrosting the chips.'

'Generally we don't provide separate wake up calls for little teddy bears.'

'Sure. They advertise luxury rooms, but you get there, and they all have bathtubs.'

"Will you be requiring a wake up call?"