Unique Experiences T-Shirts

Fish pedicures - a woman with her feet in goldfish bowls, with the fish complaining about what they have to eat since the beauty craze took off.

'A cheeky red?'

La Table

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

Storage Unit of Love

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

'It's the bill for your trip to France. When you called to ask if it was okay to bathe in Champagne, I thought you meant the place.'

Odd Spas

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"Such a heavenly night I spent in your bed."

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

'No luggage.'

'Hello, Room Service?'

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

'Have you got to have a Gimmick.'

"When you get to Uni be sure to let that hair down responsibly."

'This room is a tad small but cozy.'

'Something exotic and wildly expensive for me and a pick me up for my husband when you give him the bill.'

"Why?"

'Sir, the Arctic offseason is 24-hour night, and the temperature below zero!'

"I'll give you a few moments to recover from the prices."

"Hi chums, I'll try anything once."

'Who knew college would prep me for a first class upgrade?'

'Please remember, it's the ambience you're paying for here.'

"Since we're about experiences and not things, I didn't bother with a ring."

The Reigate train was more unusual this morning

"Very good, one bottle of selection #2815, or as we like to call it, Chateau Cash Flow."

"That's a cool backpack! Should I be wearing one?"