Guardian Of Childhood Myths Gifts

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

"Relax. They're just crows."

"This gives me the inner fulfillment I could never achieve through dodgeball."

Spilled Milk

'Sleep tight - don't let the bedbugs bite!'

The Threat to the Environment

'Ok...something, but nothing you'd care about. Honest!'

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

Hourglass earth - time running out

See, no monster under your bed

I work all day landscaping. I'm too tired to do all the yard work at home. Teddy, you're big enough to use my power tools. I know exactly who to call for help. Tap tap tap. Not the power tool I was referring to.

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

Grim Reaper walks through an urban environment wearing a gas mask.

'Any chance of getting a financial advance on my loose tooth?'

"You look terrible, dude, have you considered giving up humans?"

Memory Clinic: Today's Special - Passwords.

Deforestation

'I don't worry when he calls from the door way or the front steps - only when he starts heading this way.'

"It's cooties."

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

'I love you, your father loves you. Now go paint a masterpiece.'

"This time can the tooth fairy please just venmo me?"

Lollipop mask

'All of a sudden all they care about is boys...and make-up.'

Last Tree Standing

"If you MUST know - I want to talk to the Easter Bunny."

"You know if I've been naughty or nice? Do you have my phone tapped?

"You can grow old gracefully. I'm fighting it every inch of the way!"

Dog follows a bouncing ball over a balcony.

'He won't hurt you - just don't make any sudden moves.'

California Tooth fairy: 'IOU'.

"Sit tight, kid! You'll get your tooth money. Just as soon as we settle who had dibs."

'I'm afraid neither of my parents are at home... Are they Dad? '

'As I understand it, city kids come from the stork, and country kids come from the cabbage patch.'

relax kiddo there is no bogeyman under your bed.