Guard Dogs Gifts

"That's just not the real me."

'Okay, I'll take the first shift. Where are the other two dogs?'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'Bless him! Look how proud he looks!'

'He's always on heightened alert.'

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

No Soliciting

Beware of the Dog Hair.

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

(Beware of the dog)

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

'He's feeling very proud of himself. He went to watchdog school and graduated 'Magna cum loudly.''

Bashful Royal Guard

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

Shepherd watching sheep on closed circuit TV

Press spy infiltrates Buckingham palace dressed as a guard.

'The neighbors called to complain about your armor squeaking again.'

"I may be a newt, but I'm still King -- find that witch!"

Soldier With Mouse Ears.

Dignity and Impudence.

'Unfortunately, Rex didn't realize he was about to pee on an electric fence...'

'Now that's an afro!'

'For cryin' out loud. All I said was I thought I heard a noise outside last night!'

An angel in heaven is walking an angel dog.

Beware the Cat

"As you can see, he takes his role as guard dog pretty serious."

Ah the pleasant afternoons King Dunwoody spent in the fields with his famed hunting gnat.

'I've been hired by Bo Peep to look after her sheep: She keeps losing them...'

"Told you we shouldn't list each other as emergence contacts."

Soldier Has Fluffy Slippers On.

Beware of Dogs

"Left a bit...right a bit..."

"No need to feel embarrassed,modom,lots of people have feet your size-policemen,guardsmen,clowns...."