Guard Dog Parent Gifts

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

Dog walking Human.

Cats on Board.

No Soliciting

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

Beware of the Dog Hair.

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

"Are we done yet? ... Because I'm turning around now."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

'For pete's sake Walter!! Enough with the tail, I can't read your writing!!'

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

'Rigt, now he's going through the spin cycle.'

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

Why would a dog wear a hat?

A Dog's Food Pyramid.

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

"You go ahead and sleep, girl. I’m sure Philip Roth won’t be offended."

Dogs

"I can have wine on this new diet if i exercise. . ."

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

'What's founder?'

"I travel Prada whenever I can."

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

'The months of arduous training were worth it, she makes a decent martini.'

"That's just not the real me."

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'