Grumpy Holiday Goer Gifts

A Christmas Carl.

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

Turkey Autopsy

Temporarily Unavailable

Christmas Presents.

"Don't forget to put some sunscreen on your tongue."

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

Cat Waits For Mouse To Come And Kiss Under The Mistletoe

Santa Claws...

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

The Devil's advocaat.

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

"Of course it's not a mirage - mirages don't wear Chanel No 5."

Bed of Nails on Holiday

Grumpy Old Men

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

'If you are a good boy, Santa will bring you the tires next year.'

An Elf Pervert: 'Just put these on...see if they fit.'

Turkey under mistletoe with sign that says: 'Kiss your ass goodbye'.

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"I think I see it, guys!" "That's a rock." "Look! A dead snake." "Here's an old balloon... I think!" "World's smallest ball of twine."

'Take that off, Fuller. You're scaring the hell out of everyone!'

'I think we floated a little 'too far' down stream.'

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

'Your wife didn't do this. I'd recognize your handwriting anywhere.'

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

'I need something with a huge cargo rack and unlimited mileage.'

"Phew! That was a close shave guys!"

A vampire pounces on Santa as he delivers presents.

Cleaner with Mistletoe.