Grumpy Conversationalist Pillows

Grumpy old men: I was an nwanted child, even my mother left me before I was born.

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Why am I such a grouch?'

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

Grumpy old merry men.

Old Man Journal

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"Oh my God with the singing!"

'Cheer up...'

Grumpy Old Men

'I know how you feel.'

"I want some flowers that say 'Here, have some friggin' flowers.'"

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

'Self-help books for cynics'

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

'FQ...?'

I HATE STUFF

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'