Groupthink Analyst Gifts

Coming to a consensus.

"You never told me what you thought of 'Wolverine.'" "I was waiting." "For what?" "For the consensus." "My own immediate reaction to any piece of entertainment could be biased. I need to read tweets and posts before I settle on a verdict." "If my view differs too much from the hive mind, it's not valid."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

The Thought Process.

Business Admin - Group Think 101.

Collective Psyche

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

'....and that's our CEO. He's trying to find a corporate direction.'

"I owe all my success to the psychiatrist who gave me the word GREED as my mantra!"

'I have nobody else to blame but myself so we need to brainstorm.'

"We tried forming a collective - no leader, no structure, no power dynamics - but we just ended up flying in a circle over Winnipeg."

"I see a psychiatrist holding a Rorschach test."

The Human Condition

'I hear you're quite an advocate of group therapy.'

'Your problems are caused by all-or- nothing thinking. It's either that, or you don't have any problems.'

'Think OUTSIDE the box, not ABOUT the box.'

"Did we turn off the stove?"

Gobbledygookologist

'It's called lateral thinking.'

"None of us is as smart as all of us.2

The Relentlessly Jovial & Obnoxious Sales-People.

"Instead of national health care, we're going to try a little group therapy today...."

'He can be kind of explosive.'

Insomniacs Anonymous - No Snoring

Belonging to a group can be motivational.

"Have you ever considered putting all your icky thoughts in a little box and keeping them there?"

'I understand your world view, but what world do you come from?'

'I intend to burn the midnight oil finding ways to cut back on our carbon footprint, Simpkins...'

'Individually lemmings are fine, but get a bunch of 'em together and they'll head straight for the nearest cliff.'

Mass Piano Instruction in Communal Home

'Welcome to procrastinators anonymous. Now before we get started who would like to help me organize my sock drawer?'

'I know you're doing an important job at the think tank but please stop working at home!'