Think Tank Analyst Gifts

Gobbledygookologist

The Thought Process.

'It's called lateral thinking.'

'I intend to burn the midnight oil finding ways to cut back on our carbon footprint, Simpkins...'

Opinion Formers

'Is it just me, or is the innocence of childhood a thing of the past?'

Think TankWoolgathering Tank.

Ideas Whose Time Will Never Come.

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

'Think OUTSIDE the box, not ABOUT the box.'

'I know you're doing an important job at the think tank but please stop working at home!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Light Bulb Moment

Bright idea

"It's o.k., come on out."

The first week of the brainstorming session went slowly.

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Men in office, pose as Rodin's: The Thinker. A sign on the wall reads: THINK.

'Would you believe it took 60 people and a half a million dollars to come up with that?'

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

The Economy of Ideas

"The boss spent the day bouncing ideas off me!"

Obama on closing Guantanamo Bay

"I see a psychiatrist holding a Rorschach test."

The Human Condition

"I tried bouncing a few ideas off Bob but they bounced back."

Man at door of Think Tank sees signs Closed Now a Thought Tank.

"Our funding runs out in a month. Will everyone please think a little faster?"

A man having a light bulb screwed into his head.

Palin's Teabaggers

"Sir, you said that it's high time to fix the problem, so I rearranged the furniture, watered the flowers and made fresh coffee. If that wasn't enough then maybe we should find some problems that fit our solutions."

"Here's a free tip for you, kid: learn how to brood. Most people in the world mistake it for depth."

Think Tank

Culturally significant problems solved.