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Collective Psyche

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

The Map of the human brain

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Sigmund Freud.

Unguided imagery

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

X-ray Psychology.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"Have you tried just giving your head a shake?"

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

A Padlock and a Pet Key.

"Don't step on the blacks or the nasty bogie man will get you!"

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

'There is nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'

Lost and Profound.

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

Confirmation Bias

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

"'Cogito, ergo sum' is all very well for you, but what about me?"

'You get into arguments even when you talk to yourself ?'

"So. Mr Smith, what makes you think you are too controlling?"

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

'Shh, wait! -- I'm getting an astral message from Sigmund Freud!'

Psychiatrist's diplomas: Guessing and Wishful Thinking.

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"