Grouchy Gardener Gifts

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A garden Part 10

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

The Phantom Of The Garden

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

Planting Bird Seed.

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

"I got you some flowers..watered them, too.".

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'Every summer, dandelions can't wait to go topless!'

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'Anything else need tying up?'

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 12

Mr. Potato Head raking up leaves.

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Clown watering his flowers.

Football fan

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

With my home genetic engineering kit, I've created massive, politically active vegetables. From the left, a giant carrot. From the right, big broccoli. It was an accident, but something feels right. Introducing Meet the Produce. Next topic: Trump. Losing. Winning.

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

'Don't listen to anyone. I think you're beautiful...even if you are a weed.'

'Yes of course he can borrow my lawn mower just as long as he only uses it in my garden...'

Why is he always fooling around with plants? He wants to be a robotanist! (Published originally on August 26, 2015.)

'Man with birds nesting in hair.'

Pumpkin