Grooming Specialist Pillows

'He's very thorough about nose hair.'

'Say, when did you last cut your toenails?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'You've taken that handlebar mustache too far.'

'Shaving takes years off you.'

'Sarah, meet my carpool - mouth wash, hair spray and after shave.'

Good Hair Day

'I wonder if we can retrain your beard.'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Braiding a Horse's Tail

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Lesser known greek gods,

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Bathing the dog

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Absolutely not!"

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

Dating is so expensive...

Dogs shaving

"Be creative...!"

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

"Too much concealer?"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'